Here are some very good entries in the Bike Month Badass Contest. You can enter, too, by e-mailing drinkwaterrobert@hotmail.com with your own bike vs. car encounters. Three finalists will be selected, and the winner will be chosen by audience response at the Ride-in-Movie, 12130 River Road, on June 21. You can enter right up until then. Power to the pedal people!
A very badass entry from Michael Halliwell:
I was riding westbound along Whyte Avenue last summer when a little sport truck passes me at about 108 St. Out of the passenger window an empty Red Bull can gets chucked at me as this little truck goes by. Well, they sort of forgot that red lights happen on Whyte Ave, so I caught up to them at the corner of Whyte and 109th. I wasn’t vulgar, didn’t loose my cool… in fact I didn’t say a word. I just pulled up alongside the truck, leaned over towards the open passenger window, tilted my head down to get a better view and stared right in at both the passenger and driver. Neither would make eye contact with me….kinda the whistling-and-looking-everywhere-but-at-me thing. I guess this is when I should include the fact I’m 6 feet, 235lb and look a lot like a cop 
Not every driver is bad, according to Marcel J. Huculak:
I didn’t end up throwing anything at a driver or even say anything, but it was the funniest thing that has happened to me on my bike. I was leaving a friend’s house in St. Albert on a late Sunday morning. I had to turn left from Hebert Road to St. Albert Road – the intersection of two very busy arterials. After executing a fine CANBIKE left turn and lane change to the right lane on St. Albert Road, a mini-van which had also turned left behind me pulled up in the lane beside me. The passenger had rolled down the window and shouted to me “Excuse me!” I turned my head toward the passenger and was expecting the usual diatribe from him, like, “get off the road loser,” or, “get a car.” Instead, he surprised me by saying with a smile on his face, “My wife thinks you have sexy legs!” I don’t know if the man was teasing his wife, but I made the rest of the trip back to Edmonton with a huge smile on my face.
Molly Turnbull writes about her “shameful” badass behavior:
I happily glide along the contriflow lane running along the promenade between 121 st and 116 St. overlooking the golf course. Even though drivers drive dangerously close to the line, even though there’s sand in the lane for 3/4 of the summer, even though there’s a construction or city maintenance truck parked in it half the time — despite all that — I love to drive against traffic. It appeals to my desire to fight back, to freak ‘em out, to rage against the machine.
Sometimes, though, those drivers get just a little too close to my lane. Sometimes they’re not paying attention and I worry that I won’t be able to jump the curb while riding parallel to it. Once I was riding there with my kids in the trailer. An approaching car’s wheel was riding the line and I was staring it down. It inched into the lane and was coming closer, faster. Fear welled up in me as I rang my bell and shouted. I thought of how I could jump to the curb, but my kids would be smashed.
At the last minute, the driver skidded to a stop, window open, inches from me. I looked down and screamed “What the @#$ do you think you’re doing? Get off the @#$% public road if you can’t pay attention. You almost creamed me and my $%^&ing kids with your @#$% car.”
After the rage had subsided, and I rode away shaking, guilt began to creep it’s evil way into my heart. I had just chewed out the cutest looking, apple-faced, blue haired grandma I’d ever seen.
This badass figures it’s best if we don’t print his name:
I once caught a lit cigarette thrown out of a window, and promptly returned-to-sender’s lap. Anti-car, anti-litter, and anti-smoking vengeance coupled with couldn’t-do-it-again reflexes made for ultimate satisfaction. I felt like an eco-ninja.
Keith’s entry is “Monkey Warfare” league badass:
I am probably lucky I haven’t been arrested. Last fall I was making a left turn onto Argyle Road from 99 Street and was waiting in the turning lane for the light to turn green. It was a quiet Saturday morning. Some guy in a Suburban Assault vehicle pulls alongside and starts moving into the turning lane and was basically trying to push me off the lane into the median. Thinking that he may have been asleep, I punched the side of his truck. He then rolls down the window and tells me to get my f%&*ing bike of the fucking road.
I got off my bike and set it to the median and must say that if there is a good life rule, you don’t want to make me get off my bike. I should also say this incident was preceded by several close calls where I came pretty close to becoming roadkill. Each one involved Suburban Assault vehicles that were being driven recklessly.
So after dismounting and setting my bike to the side, I proceeded to kick the crap out of this guy’s $50-60k SUV and devaluing it in the process, and all the while was inviting him to call the cops or get out of his cage. He rolled up his window and drove off before the light turned green.
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My comment is not so baddass but kind of a situation which makes you scratch your head. So I moved here from Calgary almost a year ago and they have a great pathway system down there, but not as beautiful as the river valley. Any ways i was on my way to work downtown going eastbound on 104 ave and around I think 102 or 103 at a light. So I was waiting for the light to turn green so I could go and this guy in a car on my left with some chick in the passenger seat rolls her window down and yells at me GET THAT **FN ** BIKE AWAY FROM MY CAR so I did not say a word but stared right at them. I was in my lane and wasnt even that close to there car go figure eh GO BIKE MONTH!!!!
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“Monkey Warfare” by Keith. Hey Keith, I was just wondering what gives you the right to intentionally vandalize someone else’s property? While I agree that there are some real idiots out there driving vehicles, two wrongs don’t make a right so to speak.
Was this person threatening you with physical harm? Was your life in imminent danger in some way, shape or form? Or is it that your Ego is so fragile that you felt you had to show how tough you think you are by intentionally damaging someone’s private property. I hope you feel more manly now for your show of testosterone.
Yes you are right, you are very lucky that you are not in jail, or facing a public mischief or assault charge. It is people like you that make people like the person in the truck act the way they do, because we all then get painted by the same brush. Oh, and just in case you are wondering I am a full time biker/commuter so I know of what I speak.
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Mark – When the guy told me to get off the f-ing road I figured that he wasn’t asleep and his actions to push me out of the lane were intentional…if I had not moved he would have knocked me off my bike or run me over.
I am a very peaceful person (ask anyone) but there’s a limit to the crap I will take from cagers and if you try to run me off the road then you have crossed that line and taken a few steps to boot.
People like the fellow in the truck do not act this way because of bad experiences with cyclists but act the way they do because they are ignorant and do not respect the rights of cyclists.
This lack of respect is what gets a few of us killed every year and last year was a bad year for local cyclists… when this happened I had pretty much had enough of drivers behaving badly and seen too many ghost bikes placed.
A few days before this a speeding SUV made a left turn on to the street I was on and where I was waiting to make a left turn… the truck passed me on the RIGHT with inches to spare at very high speed.
On the right.
My ego is also fine thankyouverymuch.
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Nearly Bad Ass? or just Road Rageous?
Most of you have probably noticed that 109th St from 104th Ave to Jasper Ave narrows considerably in the right lane. I was cut off along here by a small red truck, that nearly forced me into the curb. When I caught up to the driver at the Jasper light I tapped on his window. He used his electric switch to lower the window on the passanger side while continuing his conversation on his cell phone. Then he proceeded to lambaste me at the top of his lugs for touching his truck and threatened to kick my ass if I did it again (so much for my expected appology!). I was caught off guard and barely had a chance to mumble that he had just cut me off and nearly forced me into the curb. I leaned over and left him a smudged / sweaty hand print, but as he drove off, I was wishing I had my keys in hand, so I could leave him a permanent reminder of how close he was to me. I was not quick enough, or angry enough, to catch up with him again.
It seems that we are supposed to have such tough skin, that we never get scratched or bruised by these inconsiderate drivers. They seem to figure that they own the road, since they have paid so much for there shinny new heaps of gas guzzling machines. They always floor it and choak us out on fumes and dust as they race away indignantly. It’s enought to evoke Road Rage in even mild mannered commuters like myself! They seem to forget that we are sharing most of the lane with them out or courtesy – Go figure!?!
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Here’s another example of Road Rage brought on by a truck driver:
I was cruizing along in heavy traffic along 104th Ave (Westbound) and occassionally caught up to traffic at the lights. Usually we have about a 2-3 ft clearance to the curb, but at rush hour, people seem to forget that we might need some of that narrow path. This time I had to jam on the brakes as this big ugly 4×4 pulls agains the curb to make sure I can’t get by him. He starts yelling profanities, so I modestly wait for the light to change.
He does it again at the next light, but this time he puts his wheels up on the curb to make sure I get his point, so I lift my bike over the curb and go around him and set my bike back in the lane in front of him. This time I gave him the finger and shook my cell phone at him. I told him I had his licence # and would be calling the police. He honked his horn and shouted even more! I just shook my head and kept pedaling as the light changed. I think most of the other drivers are also shaking there heads and smililing or stare ahead in embarrasement.
By now I am pedalling hard and hoping I can get far enough ahead of him, so that we don’t have to meet face to face. I think he must have turned or changed lanes, because I did not see him again. Thank God!, because I was still miles away from Superstore and did not have the patience to put up with him again.
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Got room for a third example of Bike / Road Rage!
This time I am cut off by a white van turning left in front of me. He had to pass me between parked cars just a few seconds before, so it is not like he did not notice I was there! This time I can’t brake fast enough and my body slams againt the side panel. I hear a thump that should have prompted him to stop, or at least look back! But no, he is in too much of a hurry, so he continues on, as if nothing has happened. I don’t even see his face in the side mirrors, so he must be completely oblivious (or blinded by fear?).
I was a bit shook up, but not really hurt this time!
I don’t know what it is with drivers of white vans and company trucks in particular, but they don’t seem to use thier side mirrors! I have less trouble with City buses and Semi Trucks than I do with these week day wanabee drivers. One even followed me for several blocks yelling obsenities, because he thought I should not be on the street (sharing my lane with him). Do they not realize that the sidewalks are for pedestrians and little kids? I know a lot of “Curb Hopers and Messangers” make things confusing, but even according to recent drivers handbooks – we are supposed act as and be treated as vehicals by law.
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This one is more for the silly drivers who don’t know better.
Why do they stop when there is only one car behind them (if any), and I am looking the other way as I wait to cross the intersection. They don’t seem to realize that it takes more energy for both of us, if they stop suddenly and I have to stand on the pedals to get through the intersection before the traffic in the other direction piles up. I know they mean well, but don’t they think ahead? It’s like they have never seen a bike before and are caught off guard (so they jam on the binders).
Personally, I think I pay much more attention to traffic when I am riding than most “drivers”. Ironically, because I have not “driven” for 6 years, my insurance rates have gone up because I am considered a “new driver”. I guess I will have to wait till I am over 50, so I can automatically get a lower rate as an “experienced driver”. Maybe insurance rates should be based on real world experience and reaction times, but then most cycle commuters would be encouraged to “drive” again. What a mixed up world we live in!!!
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Why do they stop when there is only one car behind them (if any), and I am looking the other way as I wait to cross the intersection. They don’t seem to realize that it takes more energy for both of us, if they stop suddenly and I have to stand on the pedals to get through the intersection before the traffic in the other direction piles up. I know they mean well, but don’t they think ahead? It’s like they have never seen a bike before and are caught off guard (so they jam on the binders).
Personally, I think I pay much more attention to traffic when I am riding than most “drivers”. Ironically, because I have not “driven” for 6 years, my insurance rates have gone up because I am considered a “new driver”. I guess I will have to wait till I am over 50, so I can automatically get a lower rate as an “experienced driver”. Maybe insurance rates should be based on real world experience and reaction times, but then most cycle commuters would be encouraged to “drive” again. What a mixed up world we live
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